A Tangled Web

Woman's Dictionary





This amused me! I did NOT write it, however. Wish I had.





Here's what a woman will say--and what she really means:





I'm sorry = You'll be sorry



We need = I want



It's your decision = My correct decision should be obvious by now



Do what you want = You'll pay for this later



We need to talk = I need to complain



Sure go ahead = I don't want you to



I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron



This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house



I want new curtains = carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper



I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep



Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive



How much do you love me? = I did something today you're going to hate



I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV



You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me



Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead