A Tangled Web

The Friday Essay.



IT’S A QUAGMIRE – GET ME OUT OF HERE!



As the liberation of Iraq proceeds apace, some of us here in the vast right-wing conspiracy are increasingly concerned for our leftist friends whose sanity appears increasingly unhinged by this resounding US/UK success.



The contents of the Fortnight “Leader” (June 2004) and Gabriel Rosenstock’s poem in the same issue are the most recent instances of this and it is time for armchair war-mongers like myself to reach out a helping hand to our more tender hearted liberal cousins. We feel your pain at this US/UK led triumph and want to help you get through the tricky months ahead. Here’s how;



First, just accept the good news; Saddam is gone! The vile dictator who butchered tens of thousands of men, women and children (without one street protest in Belfast or even one “Fortnight” editorial) has been extracted from his spider-hole and is now in prison, his regime lies in ruins, and Iraqis have an opportunity for freedom. His malignant sons, Usay and Qusay, have departed this world to enjoy the theoretical 72 virgins awaiting them in paradise or whatever fiery destination awaits murderous psychopaths.



Next step in your recovery programme is to try and keep the “Vietnam quagmire” images out of your minds! Before calling for the head of Bush and Blair, how about reflecting on the words of the original Iraqi blogger, Salam Pax? He says;



"So what are the good things? What is wonderful about Baghdad today? The streets - full of things to buy. All the newspapers – some of them make you angry, some make you laugh, some are silly, but people are saying things. The best moment, best moment ever, was the announcement of the governing council. They're useless, 25 people who I know will be able to do nothing but, never mind, they're there. And the concert after that, people singing the new Iraqi national anthem. It makes the hairs stand on my neck every time I hear it'."



Maybe if he could only read a Fortnight editorial he would mend his ways?



So apart from little things, like free choices and greater options, freedom to speak and not to speak and a rejuvenated sense of pride in one’s country – the US/UK failure could not be greater!



Step three, come to terms with the awful truth that despite the tragedy of 600 American combat dead, we did not see thousands of American fatalities, millions of refugees, burning oil wells, and the other assorted Dante-esque scenarios that were promised before the war. In other words, distance, climate, weather, the foul nature of the enemy — all those and more challenges were predictably trumped by the U.S. military, which cannot be defeated on the field of battle by any present force in existence. Even the Belgium army.



The Saddamite terror nexus is in shreds with Bin Laden’s deputy Zarqawi on the run when he’s not beheading the occasional American Jew. The Kurds in the North are content and the Marsh Arabs in the South are on the way back from near extinction. The country is prospering with free newspapers, new schools (22 universities, 43 technical institutes, 1500 schools refurbished - why that’s even more than the Last Minister for Education in the Northern Ireland Assembly could provide) and hospitals now flourishing.



But what about the nightmare that is Abu Ghraib, you ask? Well, let’s sort that one out. Abu Ghraib has been a prison for three decades. During that time, according to those few who survived incarceration there, it was a scene of obscene torture. Those who conducted that barbarity were promoted! Those few US soldiers convicted of the horrendous crime of putting underwear on a man’s head and a banana where the sun don’t shine (the sort of sexual behaviour being widely praised by our media on “Big Brother”) have been convicted. See the difference?



So let’s cut to the chase! The fact that it took the Great Satan to bring about this inspiring success is deeply depressing for those on the left and this explains their outrage that a murderous tyrant has been toppled. Just think Uncle Sam has achieved more than a decade of smug impotent UN resolutions! Reflect that Donald Rumsfeld has already done more for the cause of liberty than poor old Kofi Annan ever could!



Against this background, I can understand why it is that our dear friends on the left foam at the mouth at “the loathsome criminality in Iraq.” The truth is that for twenty five years they kept their mouths firmly shut about this loathsome criminality and it took President Bush’s courageous leadership to prize their jaws open. Amazingly when they now do speak it’s not worth hearing.



When it comes to making big changes Northern Ireland can indeed wait – Iraq cannot.