A Tangled Web

THE GREAT EURO RACE REVIEW!!!



OK - I have received the European election postal communications from each of the prospective candidates in the 10th June Euro poll and would like to nominate the following as being amongst their most ridiculous comments..unless that is, you know better!



Top of the list is from the silver-tongued suave urbane man about Markethill Ulster Unionist Jim Nicholson:



"Jim has a detailed agenda for the next five years in the European Parliament!" Good news. What is it? Jim's not saying! I wonder where he is keeping his "detailed agenda"? Why be so coy? Jim, I beg you - share the details with us, we'd just love to know what it is.



Next comes this gem from Sinn Fein/IRA.



"On June 10th allow Sinn Fein to protect the environment"



Would that be the same "environment" that this bloody organisation has spend three decades blowing up? Sickening claptrap from the Nazi Party.



Then we come to the glorious wacky Green Party which tells us, in all seriousness,



"The Agreement struck by the political parties and the two Governments in 1998 can do for us what the European institutions have done for Europe in the wake of WW2"



Who will tell poor Lindsay that the Nazis weren't allowed back into power after WW2, so why should Sinn Fein be treated ANY differently?



Moving across the wacko-fringe we come to the legend in his lunchtime that is Eamonn "Wolfie Smith" McCann.



His classic line is;



"We want the US-led forces out of Iraq because their role is not to free the people but to seize control of their resources"



Mission control to Captain McCann - when are you returning to planet earth?



Now we arrive at the sad suicide note that is the SDLP communication. It is rather desperate in tone, and saddest of all is the slogan "Morgan means more" Yeah, more post-Hume blues. More progress towards electoral oblivion. More excuses from Durkan.



The DUP advises us that a vote for them means supporting their craven "Devolution Now" document which will in turn strengthen their hand. Sure - their hand to crawl into Government with an unrepentant Sinn Fein/IRA. It's amusing that opposite this claim is the headline "Don't be conned". You're so right - we won't be fooled again, boys.



Last, but not least, is the cherublic charismatic John Gilliland.



The NIO puppet...sorry, totally Independent candidate whose motto is ""No action, Just Grants"" erm..I mean ""No politics, no chance""..I mean ""No politics Odd hairstyle"" is the man to watch out for. (In case he tries to talk to you!)



The classic line from Gilliland is the absurb claim that "thousand of voters are flocking to the cause!". Like sheep - eh John? Baaaaa!



All in all, the electoral communications are in turn amusing, depressing and ultimately best used for making paper aeroplanes.