>> 31 Jan 2004

HAS THE IRISH NEWS ANY BALLS?

answer: YES!



Alleged humourist and Vichy Unionist supporter Newton Emerson uses his several media platforms to push his own ideas. Or so it seems. Certainly those esteemed organs of Irish nationalism at the Irish News and Irish Times just love our Newt, and offer him the run of their columns for his dazzling wit and repartee. So imagine my surprise to read in the IN on 22nd November a "satirical" dig at myself and a few other anti-Agreement unionists, care of Emerson Neutered. Fair enough. But what about a right of reply - or is it just one way traffic for the Irish News?



The following letter was sent to Noel Doran - I await evidence of publication. Let's see if the Irish News has any balls?



Dear Editor,



I have unearthed this remarkable letter today, written by the local unknown but nonetheless aspiring comedian, Emerson Neutered. It may warrant wider circulation?



Letters to the Editor,

The Newsletter,

Belfast.


Dear Sir,



As a truly original wit, I feel that your paper would benefit from having one more pro-Trimble lickspittle commentating on the big issue. (Or indeed any other publication..boom boom!) With Ulster Unionist fortunes on the way up after the terrific recent election results and with my vice-like grip of local political complexities, I feel I am just the man for the job. Anyone who has seen my side-splitting antics on television will instantly support my contention that there is nothing like cutting satire- and my work is indeed nothing like cutting satire.



With so very few pro-Agreement commentators writing in the local media, and with the vast-right wing anti-Agreement unionist conspiracy so powerful, I really think I have much to offer. It is so difficult for a pro-Agreement unionist to get into print and even trickier to be a regular columnist. Surely it is time that a “risk for appeasement” was taken by a progressive newspaper?



I can assure you that I will always toe the party line, never say anything that is vaguely controversial or indeed interesting, and promise always to be nice to my local MP, and personal hero, David Trimble.




Your Obedient Servant,

Emerson Neutered,



Age 13 3/4

Somewhere in the stars.







Sorry that should have gone to..







Letters to the Editor,



The Stage.











Yours Sincerely,







David Vance



etc





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PASS THE KETCHUP!



As sent to the Belfast Telegraph;



31/01/04



Dear Sir,



The suggestion put forward by Belfast Telegraph columnist Steven King in his recent column (28th January) that US Democrat contender, John Kerry (JKF to his friends) represents a serious threat to George Bush being re-elected to a second term, is predicated on Kerry’s military record. As Mr. King puts it, “what Bush has reason to fear is that Kerry spent the Vietnam War in the Mekong Delta rather than in the Texas National Guard.” However things are not quite as portrayed by your columnist.



A good starting point to get an accurate fix on Senator Kerry’s war record is to visit the “Vietnam Veterans against John Kerry” website. Here fellow Vietnam veterans hotly dispute the evidence he served up in his testimony April 23, 1971, before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee and instead they suggest that his slander of US soldiers should disqualify him from ever serving as Commander in Chief. Then there’s Kerry's opposition to the death penalty and his 1989 vote against the death penalty for terrorists who kill Americans abroad. That should prove a real voter winner post September 11th!



Perhaps the best insight into the Kerry character relates to the incident of the apparent throwing away of his Vietnam medals in disgust in 1969. The most remarkable part of that media event was the visual image of former soldiers throwing away their hard-won war medals – with John Kerry leading the action. News accounts reported Kerry, the decorated retired lieutenant, had thrown his own medals away. Only many years later did we learn that he kept his and threw away the medals earned by others! Kerry, it seems, according to those who knew him best, had a personal agenda that went beyond exposing the abuses of the Vietnam War. Even as a Yale undergraduate, even as he was entering the military, even as he was leading this anti-war protest and others, he was planning to run for president of the United States some day. Those medals would come in handy.



A political ass leading the Party of the Donkey should ensure Bush returns to the White House. Pass the ketchup!



Yours Sincerely,



etc.



David Vance



Donacloney

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NO TALKS WITH THE IRA.



Gregory Campbell spells out the DUP bottom line that there will be no engagement with Sinn Fein until the IRA is gone. Since Sinn Fein and the IRA are one, this kinda puts the wraps on things GFA wise. The issue of whether a democratic political party should engage with another which retains a paramilitary one is cut and dried. The answer must be no - unless the boundary between the two blurs. Years of the GFA have encouraged people to think that it is "normal" to have politicians backed up by gunmen and bombers. It is not.

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THE NATIONAL TERRORIST SERVICE



Looks like the NHS is proving an attractive location for international terrorists. Might it be that once again, the Royal Victoria's vetting procedures are seen to be.... sub-Herriot?

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>> 29 Jan 2004

The Friday Essay



We don’t need no Education.



Tallulah Bankhead once said “I read Shakespeare and the Bible and I can shoot dice. That what I call a liberal education.” Increasingly Shakespeare and the Bible are marginal to a liberal education. But what is central to it?



Several years ago, when the Burns Commission came to my town seeking to hear contributions on post-primary education in Northern Ireland, I went along and told the luminaries involved that I did not accept for one moment the ludicrous contention that their commission was Independent.



I carefully explained that it was my view that this allegedly “Independent” Burns Commission would follow a pre-determined agenda serving their political masters that would result in the eventual abolition of the 11+ exam and with it, the de facto ending of our successful grammar school system. In that regard, I compared them to another independent Commission that had toured Northern Ireland headed by Mr. Chris Patten. My comments were listened to in stony silence! I hadn’t gone there to win friends, nor had the Commission gone there to take on board anything that would distract them from the act of educational vandalism they were in situ to deliver.



At that evening meeting were a number of Head Masters from local Grammar schools. Some had taught me in my younger days and had risen high in their profession. I anticipated that at least some of them would find the necessary character to stand up and argue for the retention of the 11+, albeit in some amended format. (Since every other form of examination structure has changed, it seemed rational to conclude that the 11+ could also change.) But not one of them did. Instead, like Judas, they wrung their hands, agreed the 11+ was a modern evil, and then begged the Commission to ensure that their individual schools did not have to change too much. I walked out of the meeting, shocked at the pusillanimity of these - the great and the good from my local Grammar schools. Hopeless turkeys wishing that the farmer would postpone Christmas if they were good.



I came home certain that the Grammar School system was doomed. Self confessed IRA commander Martin McGuinness would achieve his dream of being the man who destroyed the academic backbone of Northern Ireland. It was now a question of when, not if.



Fast forward in time to this week and the decision announced by Jane Kennedy, the Minister for Education, that….surprise surprise! …the 11+ would be axed and academic based selection abandoned! De facto comprehensive education is to be introduced and will be mandatory by 2009. The Commission had listened very carefully, and the Costello report had provided additional depth. Who on earth could argue with that?



The impact this delinquent decision will have on the future education of Northern Ireland children cannot be exaggerated. The Comprehensive education system that is now destined for Northern Ireland is the same rotten system that has failed so cataclysmically in England. Indeed it is the “bog standard” system that Tony Blair refuses to expose his own children to. But hey, it’s good enough for the plebs.



Such was Jane Kennedy’s enthusiasm that within a few days of her announcement, out in the post came a colourful leaflet explaining what was really happening – just in case some people didn’t implicitly trust Labour to tell the truth.



Minister Kennedy assures us that “our education system must change to meet the needs of the 21st Century.” Fair enough. So why does that mean adopting a system introduced by the egalitarian social engineers in the 1970’s in England which has been proven to have failed the children, the teachers, the parents, the employers, failed everybody in fact? It’s not comprehensive education that being introduced because Labour says it not comprehensive education that’s being introduced.



However no one can say that Labour avoids the tough questions. Why on earth is this happening to our Education system? The answer is clear; it is because “the changes put the interests of the child over all other interests.” In other words, the philistine notion of child-centric education is the new guiding principle. Children will know best.



But Minister Jane is quick to offer reassurance to the odd doubting Thomas! When the question is posed “Will academic courses still be available” – the answer is…Yes. What a relief! The slightly troubling notion that the Minister may have considered abolishing all academic courses remains. Mind, she is also quick to point it that pupils following academic subjects will also be able to now follow “vocational” courses. It is not clear if these exciting “vocational” courses that the former Grammar Schools will be forced to introduce will be mandatory, at least not straight away.



Then comes the killer question! “What will the changes mean for academic standards?” Not a problem. “The purpose of the changes is to raise standards for all children” What could be more reasonable, more decent that that? Every child will be exposed to higher standards – leading to better GCSE’s, more numerous A levels, and broader Degrees. In truth we will have the most educated populace in our history. Except for one tiny detail. Many children will lack the rudimentary ability to spell, or add up, or to discuss their nation’s history.



Labour is pursuing its bitter agenda of destroying every aspect of meritocratic based education. This is the Dodo principle in full flight. Everyone is going to be a winner, and all must have prizes.



Lifting the stone and peering at the awful reality of the Labour agenda brings to mind the wisdom of Lord Broughton. “Education makes people easy to lead but difficult to drive, easy to govern but impossible to enslave!” But what if you dumb them down - and all in the name of egalitarianism?

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SAVE THE BBC!



So Greg Dyke has followed Gavyn Davies and fallen on his sword over Hutton! Hilarious. Talk about biting the hand that feeds. Poor old Roland Rat - consumed by his own poison.



The fact that Hutton was a whitewash job should not surprise anyone, least of all the BBC. However, carried away by its arrogance, this New Labour courtier lost the plot. It's job was to salve Labour not to savage it. But the power of the establishment is very strong, Master Yoda, and so its "bye bye" Greg and Gavyn .. and doubtless hello to two EVEN more supine Labour supporters.

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A BLOATED TALKING SHOP



The Newsletter carries my comment on the Civic Forum. What a waste of time (The Civic Forum, I mean!)

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ANOTHER TRIMBLE VICTORY



Yup, Mr. T has done it again. The decision by the Young Unionist grouping to dissolve itself is another one of those very special victories that the Ulster Unionist Leader can claim. Rather like a ships captain who navigates by icebergs, Trimble's ruinous path of leadership never stops.

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>> 28 Jan 2004

PROVOS ON THE RUN (FROM REALITY)



So Sinn Fein/IRA is to announce "it's priorities" for the looming review of the Belfast Agreement. So what? The only thing that Sinn Fein should be "announcing" is the disbandment of the IRA. Everything else from the brownshirts is absolutely irrelevant, and should be treated with utter contempt. Until this party learns the simple lesson that it cannot play at being democratic by day whilst at night its paramilitary alter-ego comes out to it play, it has nothing to contribute.

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KERRY STRIKES GOLD!



You have to hand it to the Dem's - they have class. First they tease us with the demonic Dr. Dean - the man you just don't wanna make angry! Now they have turned to John Kerry - a man whose chief claim to fame is his involvement with anti-American anti-military activism. What a hoot....and what a loser. BBC Radio 4 conducted an "even-by-their leftie standards" simpering profile on Kerry - never once mentioned his unfortunate Hanoi real estate problem. Still, if its truth you want...

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>> 27 Jan 2004

BIN THERE DONE THAT.



Still on the iniquities of the Politically correct Racism industry, here's a good one! According to the British Prison Service, any officer criticising the global terror warlord Osama Bin Laden, deserved to be sacked!!

If poor old Osama (RIP, Dec 2001) had fled to the UK rather than Bora Bora, he might still be alive and well, directing the UK human rights industry, whilst indulging in his fave pastime of mass slaughter. Just when does the fightback against this madness start? Anyone who does NOT condemn Bin Laden should be sacked - starting with the goons in the Prison Service who were "disappointed" at the overturning of their monstrous decision. Promote the Officer concerned.

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ANTI-RASCIST FEST



Let us be clear. Discriminating against anyone on the grounds of their skin colour, religion, or private lifestyle is appalling. That said, this kind of 5th form rally for bleeding heart liberals to wave placards, feel good about themselves, and indulge in amateur theatrics, achieve nothing. What a waste of time.

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REBELS WITHOUT A CLUE



Does anyone find the sight of the mighty Labour "rebels" caving in to Blair's bribes and bullying repulsive? There is little doubt that Blair will win the vote on penalising middle-class students by introducing massive tuition fees because his "rebels" are truly without a clue! This rotten Labour Government with its endemic agenda of social engineering is, bit by bit, destroying that which makes the United Kingdom special. If this continues apace, perhaps Northern Ireland Unionists need to consider with what, exacty, are they seeking Union?

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THE INANITY OF THE LEFT.



Roy Garland's ability to construct a weekly column from a series of asinine cliches remains undiminished. Chortling over his latest contribution one has to ask why any editor would pay for an insight such as, "Reflecting on the above encounter I remain convinced that dialogue is fundamental to meaningful and peaceful human life. What's so funny 'bout peace, love and understanding next week??

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GONE FISHING!



Kilkeel Ulster Unionist branch votes to dissolve itself. Another day another set of resignations from the natural party of Government! Funniest comment of the day comes from BBC Political Editor Mark "There is no alternative to whatever the Government tells me" Davenport when he declared, presumably with a straight face, that "this was a two edged sword for Mr. Trimble. Yes it does strenghten his influence within the Party, but on the other hand, a Leader can't afford to lose TOO many party members" Mark - you crack me up! The pillars of the UUP are crumbling down and yet you detect that this may have an upside. What an optimist!!!!

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>> 26 Jan 2004

TURNING THE TOWN GREEN



The SDLP has proven itself to be a big disappointment to those of us seeking the help and support from constitutional nationalism. So it is that the Newsletter carries my little tirade against Alex Attwood and his green-frosted glasses.

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11+ Axed!

Big surprise - the luddites have gained controls of the levers of power in this country and they will destroy every worthwhile aspect of UK life. Bye Bye Academic selection, hello failed comprehensive system!

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WITH OR WITHOUT YOU



Am I alone in thinking that Northern Ireland can get along pretty fine with or without Bono? Reading the meandering thoughts of the U2 singer, I am struck by the cloying mawkishness of the "great man". Quite honestly, stick to the songs Bono, and leave us alone. You may be disappointed that we have not produced a "Dr King" figure (though we DO have a Dr .Steven King!) but I am disappointed in your ability to put together a decent three minute song in recent times.

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ENTER THE DODO



With the 11+ about to be given the axe here, it is interesting to note that the majority of parents want to see academic selection maintained, according to this BBC poll. Just for the record, I am in favour of the maintenance of the 11+, and believe that it may need to be enhanced and improved, but to axe it is the mark of the education philistines out to impose their "all must have prizes" mindset upon our children.



Perhaps the greatest threat to our children's future education does not lie with meddling politicians but with those within academia who, like the Dodo in Alice in Wonderland , wish to ensure that everyone is a winner. They will butcher our successful Grammar school system with glee, and then sit in smug satisfaction as standards plummet.



Selection is intrinsic to humanity. It is a fact that some kids will show greater academic aptitude than others. They require an appropriate academic route to follow, just as others will require a more practical and vocational skills based route. But the educationalist heretics that run our Academia along with their brothers-in-shams in the Unions, have their social engineering agenda to follow.



I believe in academic excellence, and I believe in each child getting the very best and most appropriate education possible. Grammar schools are central to this - and that is why, in 2004, a decision will be announced that marks their death-knell.

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>> 25 Jan 2004

LIVING IN A GANGSTA PARADISE.



One more Saturday night, one more reported instance of paramilitary vigilantism, this time near Drumbo.

As the paramilitaries increase their grip of fear, there are three questions that must be asked:-



1. Why does the media consistently caveat these brutal thuggish attacks as "paramilitary style." They are paramilitary - period.

2. Where is the absolutely hopeless PSNI - dreaming up ways to recruit more transgendered Islamic dwarfs perhaps - just to achieve balance?

3. What have the politicians got to say about this? Zip.



Northern Ireland has become a gangsters paradise, and hell for those under the jackboot of the IRA, UDA, UVF and associated criminals.

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A SWISS ROLE.



Interesting to hear DUP MP Gregory Campbell articulate the DUP bottom line for the looming Review of the Belfast Agreement. Of course he didn't HAVE to go all the way to Davos to spell it out but give any politician a stage...! So it's really very simple, all the IRA has to do is disband and disarm. No more mixing politics and paramilitarism. Sounds fair enough to me, though I would have added the caveat that ll those involved in IRA crimes should be brought to justice regardless of what happens. Why should even more murderers get carte blanche for their hideous crimes ?



Self-confessed former IRA commander Martin McGuinness gave the usual blather about making the Governments "face" down the dominant unionist position. Are Sinn Fein really this hopeless?



Without doubt, the stronger the line the DUP takes the more squeals and threats we will get from a republican movement grown fat and complacent through its years of pushing over Trimble and his little Vichy gang. The times they are-a-changing.

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>> 24 Jan 2004

TOO MANY COOKS.



So the wonderfully elfin Robin Cook thinks Blair must now accept that the Bush doctrine of defense against terrorist threats is wrong?



Let's think about this. Is Mr. Cook really telling us it is better to wait until the Airplanes incinerate a few more thousand before taking action? Is Mr. Cook telling us that the UN is anything other than an utterly impotent in-thrall to terrorists waste of time? Msybe he's looking a job from Kofi?



Blair and Bush were absolutely right to liberate Iraq, defeat the Saddamites and offer hope for at least ONE democratic state in this region.



Cook is indulged by a leftist media and treated as if his opinion matters. It doesn't but how marvellously absurd that the UK media still don't get it.

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THE MANS NOT FOR TURNING.



Here's a great story. Vichy Unionist Leader and undisputed master of the U-Turn David Trimble has announced that he believes that the DUP are doing a u-turn by participating in the opening series of meetings of the GFA review.



Watching the appeasing wing of Unionism twist in the breeze is one of the great pleaures in local political life. Imagine anybody taking these Cunningham House press releases seriously!!

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The Friday Essay



Tonge tied.



Just how anti-Semitic has the the United Kingdom become? A recent poll has suggested that 18% of Britons are anti-Semites. My response to this is to suggest that the figure seems way too low.



Consider this. Suicide bombers! Can’t live with ‘em – in fact, you definitely can’t live with ‘em. This makes the comments by Lib-Dem sweetheart Jenny Tonge all the more repulsive. The Liberal-Democrat Spokesperson for Children (ironically)showed her tender mercies towards Israeli children when she carefully explained how she may well have chosen to be a Palestinian suicide-bomber. These are the operatives who like to detonate themselves unselfishly at bus-stops, in cafes, at Weddings, anywhere they can slaughter without mercy, in fact.



The much loved Dr Tonge said she understood that her remarks may have upset “some people” but insisted she was not condoning violence. Perish the thought!!!

"I was just trying to say how, having seen the violence and the humiliation and the provocation that the Palestinian people live under every day and have done since their land was occupied by Israel, I could understand and was trying to understand where [suicide bombers] were coming from," she whined on the BBC (WHERE ELSE) as the full horror of her remarks struck home. I think many of us know exactly where Dr Tonge is coming from.



The question is just how representative is Jenny Tonge of UK political antipathy towards Israel? Judging by other comments coming across the political spectrum, Ms Tonge is no isolated wacko-case.



For example, Conservative MP Quentin Blunt (Rhyming slang anyone?) was quick to rush to the media and proclaim his concern that the right to free speech was being curtailed somewhat by the sacking of Tonge. Michael Howard should have be blunt with Blunt.



Readers will recall the comments made by Cherie Blair not so many moons ago when she expressed her own sincere and deeply held sympathy towards the Palestinian murderers. Speaking to reporters after appearing with Queen Rania of Jordan, she said: "As long as young people feel they have got no hope but to blow themselves up, you are never going to make progress." A subsequent grovelling apology does not excuse the blinding stupidity of the comment.



Across the UK political spectrum, there is a dark anti-semitic shadow. It is the same shadow that casts itself across much of Europe. It has been there in the past but was shamed into decades of post-holocaust silence. But it never really went away.



If the UK political elite had any courage, they should come out and categorically condemn the Palestinian homicide bombers and the barbarous regime headed up by arch-terrorist Arafat that incites maniacal hatred towards the Israeli people. Silence indicates something more worrying than indifference.



Maybe Jenny Tonge should use the spare time she will now have on her hands to investigate the premise that for many of the suicide bombers with whom she feels such an affinity, their murderous deaths may in fact be form of Arab honor killing.



Wafa Idris, the first Palestinia suicide bomber, was most likely in clinical depression when she detonated herself. Her husband had divorced her and taken a second wife. She was mocked by family and friends. She was sterile after a still born birth. Her prospects were bleak - thanks to the Islamic/ Palestinian misogyny, and thus she was trapped in redeeming herself by reducing herself to atoms, and taking innocent Israeli lives with her. As Cherie Blair would put it, what choice did she have?



Another such instance of the awful reality behind homicide bombers is the sad tale of Reem Al-Riyashi. This young mother of two children was allegedly “forced to carry out a suicide bombing as her punishment for cheating on her husband (with another Hamas operative”) Tough love, Palestinian style.



Where are the legions of UK feminists on this one? Why are these horrific medieval practices tolerated within what passes for "Palestinian society"? Has Arafat so degraded Palestinians that the moral sewer, supported by the UN and EU, that they inhabit prevents them recognising wrong when they do it? If so, at least they have an excuse. Those in the UK and throughout Europe who knowingly give support to such barbarism cannot say they shame.



Tonge’s tongue may now be tied but it has been a revealing insight into the dark side of the British political establishment.

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>> 22 Jan 2004

BYLINE FOR HARDLINERS.



Is Alex Attwood not one of the most ludicrous hot-air balloons on the local political scene? Based on this, the content of his latest PR outburst, Attwood is certainly a player in the goon stakes. So Alex thinks majority unionist opinion, as reflected in the most recent polls, should be faced-down? Quite where does that fit with the word "democratic" exactly? Is it that all shades of opinion must be catered for except that which most unionists endorse? Attwood and Durkan will ensure the SDLP sink out of sight, a fate which distresses real democrats.

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>> 21 Jan 2004

LEGAL AID!



I wonder could the UUP apply for legal aid to help them cover the whopping legal bill they are being hit with for their persecution of Smyth, Donaldson and Burnside last year? It seems such an irony that the fine legal mind of Mr. Trimble did not see this one coming.....

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SMOKE GETS IN YOUR EYES.



The onslaught against common sense that has come to characterise this rotten Government continues apace with the news today that cannabis is to be downgraded to a grade c drug. In order to cover their tracks, Labour wheel out Blunkett to tell us how he "agonised" over the decision (Sure) and an ad campaign costing 1 million pounds is being launched to warn people of the dangers of cannabis. Next stop, legalise cocaine and then heroin! You read it here first.

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STRIDING, NOT RUNNING.



Following the announcement by DUP leader Dr. Paisley that he intends stepping down from his MEP role later this year when the term completes, The Belfast Telegraph has been busy putting the boot in. In an execrable editorial last night, the BT moaned about the allegedly baleful influence Ian Paisley has had, and now we read more tripe from the sycophants that infest that paper. Of course the DUP leader is not running anywhere - but the running dogs of the pro-Agreement press just don't get it!

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THE DEAN AND I



Here's hoping Dean wins through for the Dem's! Based on this this colourful eccentric should give us plenty of laughs on his journey to defeat in November.

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CEASE-FIRE - WHAT CEASE-FIRE?



The idea that something can be called off that was never on in the first place is risible. Hence reports that the mighty UDA are going to call off their "cease-fire" kinda gets it wrong. The only thing that can be called off is the ridicolous sham that permates the body politic that any of the terror groups are on any kiond of "cease-fire." The UDA, UVF and IRA should be moved against not squalidly opposed. Wonder which politician will call for that?

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THE RICHNESS OF POVERTY



Here we go again, a plague of political liberals coming to NI to examine "poverty" Wonder where they'll find it? Not enough second holidays perhaps, a dearth of DVD players amongst the populace in general. Give us a break. There is no poverty in NI, there certainly is squalor, there is degradation..but poverty..well, that's a bit rich!

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>> 20 Jan 2004

MALINGERERS OF THE WORLD UNITE!



Pleased to see that the Belfast Telegraph carries my take on the malingering Northern Ireland public sector. Now stand back and watch them moan....!

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EDUCATING NASUWT



So our caring compassionate pupil-centred teachers may go on strike if they don't get their way. Two points:-



1. Would anyone notice?

2. Shouldn't those who do strike lose a weeks paid holiday for every day they take off? Poor souls only get 12 weeks paid holiday a year.

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KOFI TIME



Under no circumstances should the UN have any involvement in Iraq short of, say, providing Dixie Chicks CD's to the disturbed as a means of shock treatment. Hence the latest news that this bunch of bozos are trying to get involved in the forthcoming elections is very bad news indeed.



The corrupt UN has no constructive role to play in re-building a democratic Iraq. Having idly stood by whilst Saddam tortured and murdered innocent Iraqis for decades, how dare Kofi Annan and the En(UN)chs try to meddle in Iraqi affairs. Keep out Kofi!

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>> 19 Jan 2004

ANOTHER NAIL IN THE (UUP) HEART!



A shrewd decision by Dr. Paisley to stand down from the MEP role and allow a younger person to do the demanding job. Interesting an predictable use of the word "quits" in the UTV strapline. A little bit of pro-Agreement wishful thinking perhaps?



Anyway, the DUP are well positioned now to run TWO candidates, Nigel and Jeffrey would be ideal. That should ensure that Rambling Jim Nicholson is unseated, the UUP lose their MEP, and another stake is driven into the heart of this post-Unionist morass.



Dr. Paisley has shown excellent leadership qualities in his latter years. I have criticised him in the past but feel deserved credit should be given now.

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THE FUTILITY OF THE AGREEMENT.



Anyone reading this report of the Blair/Ahern preparation for the "review" of the Belfast Agreement must conclude that this thing will not work. It is institutionally dysfunctional and is going nowhere fast. Rather than review a failed Agreement, better surely to consider new ways of making this a better place in which to harmoniously live together. Sticking plaster over a gaping wound is...pointless.

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TORQUEMADA RETURNS.



Look out, here she comes! It Nuala O'Loan, wife of a pro-Agreement SDLP representative and Police Ombudsperson for NI.

In her "damning" report on the RUC investigation into the murder of Mr. Brown in Bellaghy, she holds no punches.



Of course any sloppiness should be exposed as the full rigour of the law is brought to bear on all these cases. However I get the feeling that our Nuala's enthusiasm to do down the proud and honourable reputation of the RUC may, allegedly, have the teeniest-weeniest political stripe to it. After all, as a creature of the Agreement spawned by the Agreement, destroying the RUC's image is a good way to keep the job, isn't it?



Can we expect that our Ombudsperson will instigate a detailed investigation into the events surrounding Bloody Friday? Just who was guilty of planning this? Have sufficient policing resources been allocated against this? Come on Nuala, let's see how pro-active and balanced your office is.

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TEEBANE MEMORIAL



Nowhere was the barbarity of the IRA more evident than at Teebane. This grotesque inhuman assault on Protestant working men was rightly condemned around the world, but then forgotten. Except for the widows, and the children and the grandparents of those murdered...



I hope that justice is done here and that the bereaved get comfort as the guilty are brought to book. I fear nothing of the sort will happen! Instead after the platitudes of how awful it all was, the appeaser's cry of "moving on from the past" will toll again, and these poor people will be forgotten again.



My view is that the guilty, once convicted, should hang.

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JAMBOREES ALL ROUND!



It's sad to see the Orange Order even consider the inducement of an NIO funded jamboree to South Africa. Whilst I have offered support for the OO principle of not having to ask permission of any group for a religious parade from Church on the public highway, this creeping involvement with Government will undo the Orange Order.

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>> 18 Jan 2004

MOZART BEWARE!



Only in Holywood. North Down, I mean. Here's a wonderfully other-world story about how the classical composers are going to bring crime to its knees. I have always wondered what was the POINT of "Town Centre managers" and now I know. They are in situ to give us a laugh!

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CALLING A SPADE A SPADE.



Jenny McCartney is spot on in her comments regarding PUP hypocrisy over rascism. The fawning that accompanies a press release from the UVF's political apologists is a disgrace. This garbage is equivalent to the Nazi Party's expressed concerns over the environment, and world peace.

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THE WEST LOTHIAN QUESTION



And so it is that the issue of whether or not Blair gets his way over tuition fees in English Universities may be decided by Scottish MP's!! Once again, the fundamental dysfunctionality of Blairs' devolution settlement becomes manifest. Tory leader Michael Howard gets this one right - insisting that Scottish MP's should abstain. However it is becoming all the more obvious that the Scottish tail is wagging the English dog in this Labour administration. The sooner the people of England turn on it the better.

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KILROY ISN'T HERE ANY LONGER!



So let me get this straight.



Kilroy was taken off-air because of what he allegedly said about Arabs, or Arab States. The CRE backed this and demanded apologies and financial restitution from Kilroy.

I don't happen to agree with either the BBC or CRE but that appears to be a fair summation of the situation and the action taken.



BBC pundit Tom Paulin, in an interview with Al-Ahram last April said, "Brooklyn-born" Jewish settlers on the west bank "should be shot dead." He added "they are Nazis's" and "I feel nothing but hatred towards them."



Now then. what has CRE Commissar Trevor Phillps had to say on the issue? Nothing. What action did the BBC take? None.



Mmm...two legs bad, four legs good at the Right-on establishment?

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>> 17 Jan 2004

SICKENING SYCOPHANTS (PART 1)



At a time when it is obvious to all that the Trimble command is sinking faster than the second Assembly's hopes of ever functioning, here comes the Newsletter's very own UUP cheer-leader extraordinaire Ciaran McKeown with tidings of good news.



My most treasured examples of sycophancy beyond the call of duty from Ciaran include:- (Speaking of Trimble)



He has several notable qualities, is well-respected abroad, has given unionism international standing in place of a kind of Afrikaner image and has the kind of intellectual ability and general erudition that people like to sense in a leader, even if they don't always follow the whatorwhy of a particular argument or action.



Really? And then there's...



Mr Trimble's undoubted experience and qualities can be an asset:



For whom, Sinn Fein?



And last but not least, the chortling,



He needs to be positively tough - but with a smile on his face, as if he is really enjoying the challenge.



Pass the sick bucket. This kind of sub-Cunningham House trash spewed out by McKeown on a daily basis demonstrates a contemptible desperation. All hands on deck...we're going down....

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THE THOUGHT POLICE.



The news that Kilroy has resigned from the BBC is no big surprise. The leftist right-on pro-Arabist lobby has prevailed and a message has gone out to those who need to be reminded NOT to dare criticise Arabia, no matter how gross its abuses of human rights, how sickening its support for international terrorism, how medieval its inability to embrace representative democracy.

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SHADOW BOXING

The defection of an entire branch of the Ulster Unionist Party in Lagan Valley has been met with not only studied indifference from Deathstar command at Cunningham House but even better the hilarious suggestion that there is a replacement branch in "shadow" form just waiting to emerge! Great delusional stuff from a political party on it's knees.

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>> 16 Jan 2004

The Friday Essay



DEATHSTAR – CUNNINGHAM HOUSE.



Ever see the Star Wars movie where the bad guys’ huge spacecraft looks utterly invulnerable until it comes under sustained attack by the opposition? At first, one small crack appears in it, then quickly another, than a chain reaction of explosions and then …it’s explodes into a million shards. Well, the Ulster Unionist Party could audition for the script!



The Trimble years are coming to an end. When exactly this will occur is hard to say – but the next General Election, expected in 2005, will mark the finishing line for Trimble since he will undoubtedly lose his Westminster seat in Upper Bann at that point. I believe he will have fled by then. Either ennobled and elevated to the Lords or rewarded and packed off to the EU/UN, he will have escaped just before the UUP Deathstar explodes. The poor suckers that lacked the courage to get rid of him when they had the chance will then stand amongst the burning debris of their once all-powerful political party and wonder how it was that the “natural party of government” met up with natural selection. Darwinism also applies to political parties!



By any standards, the UUP is already cripplingly wounded. Now the minority unionist party in the Assembly, reduced to the minority unionist party at Westminster, UUP fortunes have plummeted whilst Trimble’s have ascended. At first this seems odd. How can a political leader thrive whilst his party falls apart? Surely this makes no sense?



The truth is that Trimble’s elevation was always media driven. He never carried the popular support that endless media polls suggested. This latter day straw-man has been propped up for years now by supine pro-Agreement media players. Salivated over as a man who would take “risks for peace” (translates “will sell out his every stated political principle”), Trimble was a walking disaster. But he was nicely presented for UUP rank and file dullards. He was an educated man. That always goes down terribly well in a party where intelligence is not always immediately discernible (See under; Sam Foster, Jim Dillon, George Savage.) He could even string together half a dozen words and manage not to sound as robotic as Michael McGimpsey, as wimped out as Sir Reg Empey, or as formularised as Dermot Nesbitt. He was a giant amongst pygmies!



But being propped up by an understanding media only goes so far and only lasts so long. The reality is that Trimble’s track-record of broken-promises and policy u-turns could not be permanently explained away. In essence, he’s been rumbled by the unionist electorate. The little coterie that surrounds him constantly fails to accept this. They are in denial. They insist that the unionist electorate is to blame for allowing itself to be “conned” by the DUP; they whinge that the IRA is to blame for not honouring its word! (As if….). They moan that the Government is to blame for not being more accommodating to pro-Agreement Unionism. In short, they blame everyone but themselves.



Curiously, even after the Assembly election results, there are some sycophants in the press who continue to present Trimble as the only way forward for the Ulster Unionist Party. Naturally, these are the same people who consider Mark Durkan to be an able leader, who think the Alliance Party is a formidable force.



Let’s be clear. Trimble is now irreversibly on his way out. The real problem is that he has positioned his Party where it has no way out. How can it be more anti-Agreement than the DUP? It can’t! How can it be more pro-Agreement and yet win back lost unionist votes? It can’t! Has it anyone capable of effective leadership? It hasn’t! (Not unless Empey and Rodgers are viewed as a dream ticket and surely no-one could imagine that without the assistance of illegal pharmaceutical substances!)



The Ulster Unionist Party has only one place to go. Backwards! It cannot ever again position itself as a Party of the Union for the simple reason that under Trimble it has moved to a post-Union platform. Worshipping at the shrine of the Belfast Agreement, it should junk whatever remnants of Unionism it retains and re-position itself as I have previously indicated (See under “The New Alliance”)



Unionism is coalescing around clear anti-Agreement principles. That is where the electoral winners are to be found. As Cunningham House is reduced to the status of a care home for the politically challenged, it can be said; rarely have so many lost so much for so little!



Sitting on his ermined robe, I doubt Mr. Trimble will concern himself unduly.








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>> 15 Jan 2004

THE QUISLING IS NOT FOR TURNING



Well Well, Jeffrey's gone and David McNarry is happy. The Trimble "leadership" is safe! Uh uh...front page Belfast Telegraph tonight and its another Trimble may have to go story. This time, Barney Rubble lookalike and North Belfast MLA Fred Cobain thinks Trimble is a liability. Wow! If Fred has come to this momentous conclusion, it is only a matter of time to DT has to walk the plank. If you can't command the support of the bottom-feeders, you need to go elsewhere.

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SWISS CHEESE



So those two big cheeses of nationalism, Durkan and McGuinness, are packing their cases and off to Davos. (Wasn't he the leader of the Daleks?) They are travelling to the World Economic Forum that is due to take place next week in Switzerland.



Leaving aside the obvious irony of a self-confessed terrorist such as McGuinness travelling anywhere, to lecture anyone, on anything, there is another interesting feature to this story. The subliminal idea as UTV tells it is that Durkan and McGuinness are somehow magically "world leaders!" I don't think so. Not on planet Earth anyway! This is an example of bumptious ego-fueled politicians (well, mmm..let's stretch the term to include McGuiness today) preening themselves and a spineless media indulging the pretense. More cheese anyone?

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THE BUCK STOPS HERE.



The audio-diary of Sgt Steve Roberts, shot dead in March during an attack by Iraqi dissidents, refers to supplies to soldiers "a joke". His widow has courageously made the content of her late husbands diary public, and the furore has caused some Ministerial hearts to flutter. Calls for Hoon the goon to resign are pointless. It is his boss, Tony Blair, who sent British soldiers to Iraq without ensuring that they had what they needed to defend themselves in the conflict of war. It is his boss, Tony Blair, who should now resign from office. Soldiers die, wives become widows, children lose their father yet all the time the grinning Blair poses as the great war leader. What an absolute disgrace! Samantha Roberts has shamed this awful Government, and regardless of ones political colours, asking a soldier to put himself on the front-line, but then deny him the necessary supplies, is a little more than "the odd glitch or shortcoming in our processes" as Defence Minister Ivor Caplin puts it.

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>> 14 Jan 2004

THE ARABS ARE THE NEW IRISH?



Another wonderfully insightful article from John Derbyshire. Here John compares the dysfunctionality of Saudi Arabia, and Arab nations in general, with that of Ireland and its dealings with the United Kingdom. Several useful points made. It's great that there are writers with such a good grasp of Irish affairs writing in America.

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GIVE WAR A CHANCE



The pro-Palestinian terror supporters that masquerade as "international peace activitists" seem never have to heard of the maxim that those who live by the sword die by the sword. It is also interesting to hear the UK media trot out the pro-palestinian cliches about these "peace activitists" whose primary mission, once dissected, appears to be to ensure that Arafat can kill as many Israeli citizens as possible in his Nazi-like blood thirsty pursuit of a judenfrei Palesintian state.



When will this old terrorist be brought to justice? Just imagine the mourning in Euro-weenie land when Arafat is finally called to account by his maker!

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>> 13 Jan 2004

WIBBLE WOBBLE



And so, doyen of the Sunday Life Lynda Gilby - that larger than life independent seeker of truth, declares that the Alliance "could not set jelly." The reason for this is that the Alliance Party is jelly, as everyone knows.



But passing on, Ms Gilby makes a few additional points that require a little clarity. She bemoans the fact that "few things make me laugh out loud these days." Doesn't she find her own newspaper a laugh - I know I never stop laughing when I read its utterly infantile content!



Then our Lynda tells it like it is; the imminent review is a "sop to unionism." I see. So the fact that the IRA ran an alleged spy-ring at Stormont, holds onto an illegal terrorist arsenal, continues to maim intimidate and murder, whilst its Sinn Fein alter-ego prances about masquerading as Ministers in an Executive doesn't represent a teensy-weensy problem? Let's try putting it another way. The Agreement is a sop to thugs and killers - yet I seem to remember one of the legion of cheer-leaders for this perversion of demorcacy was Ms Gilby. Now she's not smiling because bad unionists won't play along with the charade anymore. Boo hoo and pass the Kleenex..sorry, Sunday Life.



Jelly might be spineless but then again couldn't that accusation be equally levelled against those who use a weekly public soapbox, for example, to endorse immoral depravity in the name of peace? Give my head peace.



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"PARAMILITARY STYLE" BEATINGS.



Euphemisms. The wonderful world of the Belfast Agreement means never having to say "paramilitary" without adding the style-suffix lest offence is given to the hoods. Once again, men are brutalised by paramilitary thugs but the spineless media chooses to call them "paramilitary style" beatings rather than risk direct attribution. You see, that just would not be helpful or conducive to maintaining the fiction that the IRA, UVF and UDA are doves of peace. In the Orwellian world of the NI peace process, lies are truth and truth is unwelcome.

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STATE COLLUSION



No doubt about it - state collusion is a real and present danger! I refer to the disgraceful decision by the farcical Bloody Sunday enquiry to grant anonymity to IRA terrorists whilst they give "evidence" (or spread propagandist lies, if you like)



Once again, under the auspices of the malignant Good Friday Agreement, we see the perverting of justice. IRA terrorists should not be granted anything - other than the preferred choice of execution for the barbarous activities they took part in.



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>> 12 Jan 2004

THE WAR ON MOTORISTS.



Only in the Blair Republic! The latest crackpot scheme from the car-hating liberal left is to fine motorists even more for speeding. This time its to create a "Victim Support Service." Pass the sick bucket! Where Bush has his war on terror, Blair has his war on motorists. If the English are stupid enough to vote this monstrous Government in yet again, they deserve all they get.

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>> 11 Jan 2004

THEY SHOOT 14 YEAR OLDS - DON'T THEY?



Even by N. I debased standards, the shooting of a 14 year old causes an outcry. The latest news that the INLA has shot a youngster in North Belfast tells us what happens when the rule of law is not applied everywhere. This vigilantism mars many parts of our country and is utterly unacceptable. It is not for the INLA, the IRA, UVF or UDA to keep the peace! The rule of law, so corroded by the toxic Belfast Agreement, has to apply everywhere. But our cowardly authorities don't want to know.

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UVF THUGGERY



Denials of UVF involvement in recent rascist attacks ring hollow. The fact of the matter is that the UVF is a despicable terrorist organisation that should be treated exactly like the IRA, namely crushed. Those who provide a political analysis to these thugs, namely the PUP, are as wretched as Sinn Fein and unworthy of any engagement by thinking unionists. The elevation of their primary politiical propagandist, David Ervine, is particularly disturbing, and in the case of nationalists love-in with him, bizarre.

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KILROY STRIKES BACK.



Well done silky Kilroy! Facing down the outcry from the professionally easily offended left wing Race industry, Kilroy defends the common sense contained in his comments.



I think the Muslim Council of Britain should apologise for some of it's unhelpful comments on the war against terrorism. (See previous post on this topic)

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CALLING THE SHOTS.



Does anyone care about what self-confessed IRA commander and ex-Minister of Education in the failed First Assembly Martin McGuinness has to say? If so, why? Reading the current bellicose ramblings of the former IRA terrorist, it is obvious why the GFA was always doomed. In a bravado denial of reality, McGuinness demands that Government goes over the head of the majority of unionist political opinion and IMPOSES the GFA on them.



Mmm...just a little indication of the reality of the fascist Sinn Fein agenda..it's their way or the highway! This sort of drivel from Sinn Fein needs kicked into touch, but then again, whilst the IRA maintains its weapons, Sinn Fein calls the shots!

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>> 10 Jan 2004

THE MOUSE THAT ROARED.



Regarding Burnside and Smyth's decision to resume the whip at Westminster - pathetic. These are not men, but mice. Squeaking in defiance at Trimble on occassion but living in cloud cuckoo land. Jeffrey is well off out of it. The UUP slogan should be amended to read "Simply Cheesy".

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GREG RUSEDSKI IS INNOCENT



I share in the general amazement that UK tennis ace Greg Rusedski (well, UK tennis player more precisely) has tested positive for the banned substance, nandroline.



My amazement is on the basis that nandrolone is reputed to be a performance enhancing substance. Has anyone watched Greg play? Surely that is proof positive...erm..I mean negative....that he is an innocent man?



Free the Wimbledon one starts here.

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St. Patricks Day farce.



Here's a suggestion. Can we ban St. Patricks Day? The reason I suggest this is based on this kind of nonsense. In a country which is increasingly hostile to Christianity, the notion of these public funded jamborees is revolting. If people want to "celebrate" a Saint whose religion they do not adhere to, let them. But not one penny of public money should be spend on such an obscenity.

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IMPORTING TERRORIST SUSPECTS.



News that nine British terrorist suspects held at Guantanamo Bay by the US could be sent home to the UK is greeted as good news by the BBC. Odd way of putting the prospect of alleged Al Qu'eda coming back to the UK. Some of us may feel safer knowing that such terror suspects are held captive thousands of miles from here rather than being let loose to the caring mercies of the UK Human Rights lobbyists and assorted pondlife. How long before they all walk free?

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>> 9 Jan 2004

TWEEDLEDEE AND TWEEDLEDUM



DUP say it is good, SDLP say it is bad. I say - who cares? The old Alliance are kite-fliers and it is amusing that the SDLP are having convulsions over NIO thinking in advance of the so-called review. Get over it Mark - it's what you voted for!!

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KILROY WAS HERE AND NOW HE'S NOT!



So poor old silky Kilroy has been taken off air by the BBC. His alleged crime ? To have branded Arabs "suicide bombers, limb amputators, women repressors" and asked what they had given to the world other than oil.



Well of course many Arab nations fit the bill exactly as regards this description - so I wonder where the problem was, exactly?



As for the Muslim Council of Britain, here's an example of where it stands on the major issue of our time:-



"It is becoming increasingly clear that the 'war on terror' advocated by President Bush is not working and unless we begin to seriously address the root causes of injustice behind the dreadful phenomenon of terrorism ordinary human beings will continue to pay the price of terror"



Fair enough?

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THE FRIDAY ESSAY





The New Alliance




Dateline: November 2008.



The results were in and the shape of the third Assembly clear.



Ten years on from that defining Good Friday moment, the changes in Northern Ireland politics had crystallised for all to see.



The DUP topped the poll, just as it had done way back in 2003. This time though, it had accelerated past the 40 seat mark target and had finished up with 42 MLA’s. DUP Party Leader, Peter Robinson, proudly announced that Unionism was finally united under one roof and he would ensure that his party made its democratic case to Government. With the election of his son Jonathan, the Robinson triumvirate beamed in pleasure and all was well in the unionist tent.



His Deputy, Jeffrey Donaldson, expressed his delight at the dramatic gains the DUP had made across Northern Ireland. He seemed particularly thrilled that Lagan Valley had returned four DUP M.L.A.’s. He joked that it seemed like a million years ago since he had been in a divided weak-kneed duplicitous Party. Time has clearly not soothed all wounds.



The DUP had surprised more than few people over the lifetime of the ill-fated perma-frozen second Assembly. Those cynics who had confidently predicated that a deal would be done between the DUP and Sinn Fein had been proved wrong. Even after Dr. Paisley had stood down for health reasons, the DUP stood firm. Sure, there had been a review since the 2003 results first tipped the balance. In fact there had been several reviews, a renegotiation and an attempted re-launch! But nothing worked. The DUP insisted it would not sit in power with Sinn Fein and it had kept to its word. How the critics were silenced!



And what of Sinn Fein? A grey-haired Gerry Adams basked in the adulation as he lined up alongside his 30 newly returned MLA’s. He spoke of his satisfaction that Sinn Fein has become the party for nationalists and republicans. This little semantic difference hardly seemed to matter any longer since the difference had blurred to the point where it was chic, even de rigeur, to vote for the party that was the IRA’s alter-ego. Naturally the IRA had been on sustained cease-fire, so only a few dozen poor souls had disappeared without trace, only a few hundred had been brutalised by punishment beatings, and a only few thousand terrorised from their homes. The guns had been silent, apart for the occasional act of “internal housekeeping” and who would quibble with that? (Apart from the next of kin, and what do you expect from them?) The IRA had kept their word and their weapons.



However the most eagerly await result was that for the New Alliance – “a coalition of the witless” as one cynical obscurist commentator had labelled them. Formed from the remnants of the UUP, the SDLP and old Alliance, this was the most talked about development in many years in N. Ireland. It was a centre ground which put the Belfast Agreement first! Post-Unionist, post-Nationalist, it was positively post-modern!



New Alliance Leader David Trimble expressed his pleasure at having won 18 seats. The time for new politics was at hand, he declared. Perhaps the hand of history had found a net set of shoulders? His Deputy, Mark Durkan, concurred with this assessment pointing out that forming New Alliance had been necessary to save the Agreement once and for all. Endless debate about the Union or a United Ireland was passé in New Alliance circles. It has been decided. It was the Agreement to which primary loyalty was now sworn



Looking back on it, the road to New Alliance had been tough. Originally called Alliance of Nationalist and Unionist Solidarity, acronym problems required a swift u-turn. Then came the momentous decision by the Trimble controlled UUC to formally enter into a permanent relationship with the besieged SDLP. Mark Durkan had responded positively as he saw the collapse of his own middle ground. This was all about political survival.



And so it was that New Alliance came to hold the balance of power. The 60% weighted majority for any decision within the new Assembly seemed fair enough, after it, this was non-sectarian. What could be fairer than that?



The first motion put in front of the House was by Sinn Fein. It called upon this, the Third Assembly, to pursue a clear objective of total Irish unity by 2013. There was unionist uproar and vicious insults were traded. Speaker Ervine called for order - in as many words as he knew possible! Eventually the din subsided and all eyes turned to David Trimble. The New Alliance leader knew what he had to do. In the balcony, John Hume smiled....

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>> 8 Jan 2004

STUDENT GRANT!



The debacle over Student fees is an interesting insight into the sub-stalinist "everyone must be equal" mindset of Blair and his cronies.



Can I make it clear that I absolutely oppose the concept of these fees? As a student, about a million years ago, I was able to attain a decent education without the burden of a £30,000 debt waiting for me at the end of it.



Blair is so morally and economically wrong. He is forcing far too many into tertiary education resulting in dumbed down degrees, huge drop-out rates, burdening those who seek knowledge with mega debt - and all in the name of egalitarianism?



Will no one stand up and say that University education should be free but that it should only be our most academically enthusiastic?

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SMILE - YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA.



Has anyone seen the latest alleged photo of poor old Saddam published on the internet today? The wretched tyrant didn't look to good just out of his spider hole- did he? Still, he didn't look as as bad as those thousands of innocents he slaughtered during his UN approved tenure as Dictator. Here's hoping we get to see the photo's of him when he's been hanged for his depraved crimes this summer.

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Ming the Mild



David Ford's latest musings raise a smile. The big question is how close to Government thinking is the faulty Ford? The totally original and absolutely independent Alliance thinking has obviously nothing t do with NIO kite-flying - has it?

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>> 7 Jan 2004

THE SPECTRE AT THE FEAST



A cursory examination of what the IRA's propagandists are seeking from the review of the Belfast Agreement demonstrates why there will never be ANY political progress to this spolit chidren get their toys taken away from them, are told that they must ensure that P.O'Neill disarms, and made to grow up. Only New Alliance and our gutless government would give any credence to this sort of turgid whinging tripe.

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HOW PATHETIC IS TRIMBLE?



Hail Caesar - Hail Trimble. New Year same old New Alliance whinge from Mr. Macho. This time he's going to call for a "Mitchell type" review to "deal" with the "issue" of weapons. Sorry Dave, but we've suffered enough through your inept dealing with the issues for the past five years. No doubt your Sinn Fein pals will want to help you with some more "constructive ambiguity" and putting invisible weapons neyond use, but the rest of us have heard it all before.

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NO REFUGE FROM EVIL



This latest attack on the elderly demonstrates the lack of law and order in this country. Once again we witness a grotesque example of the lawless preying upon the helpless.

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>> 6 Jan 2004

TIME TO EARN TRUST



Our hangdog (or should that be lapdog) Secretary of State Paul Murphy has released his own wishes for the review of the Belfast Agreement. Paul is not a bad man, but he is a very weak one. His pathetic bleatings are risible.



Lets examine the saddest of them.



"THE success of the review of the Good Friday Agreement involves what the political parties are prepared to give" How about an illegal terrorist army, Mr. Murphy?



A happy New Year for the province will involve the building of trust between the parties. Trust those who play at democrats during the day but whose alter-ego's come to life under cover of darkness?



Poor Paul. He just doesn't get it. The days of push-over Unionism are gone and still he talks as if Trimble was still First Minister. If trust is to rebuilt, Mr. Secretary, throw the terrorist stooges out of the tent of democracy!

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THE ACTS OF A WEASEL.



The changing political climate is reflected in the tone of today's Newsletter editorial. When the limp as a wet lettuce Newsletter decides that the weasel words of the IRA mean less than zero you know that the tide is on the turn. Of course even more remarkable is the fact that for several years the Newsletter seemed to welcome and find comfort in IRA lies. The cold wind blowing across the grave of the Belfast Agreement is good news for all democrats, bad news for the authors of this latest piece of IRA fiction.

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THE SCALES OF JUSTICE



Nice to see that no-one is above the law in Norther Ireland these days. Poor old Peter Robinson has had the full weight of justice brought down on his shoulders for the heinous crime of...blocking a road for a street party



So whilst the murderers of thousands of our fellow citizens remain untouched by the judicial system, those who have a Street Party better watch out! It's called getting priorities right.

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THORN IN MY SIDE



David Trimble attacks Jeffrey Donaldson. Dog bites man. So what?



What amused me most was the pretend angry Mr. T saying that ""I actually live in Lagan Valley and I voted for Jeffrey and I feel let down." Yes, David, and was it a first preference? Or was it a little after the Sinn Fein candidate?



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THE RETURN OF RED KEN.



Rarely has the UK produced a more loathsome specimen of far-left extremism than the current Mayor of London, Ken Livingstone. Here are a few choice quotes from cuddly Ken:-



"Anybody who enjoys being in the House of Commons probably needs psychiatric help." Ken, suffice to say, was a Member of Parliament.



"I actually think that Bush is the greatest threat to life on this planet that we've most probably ever seen. The policies he is initiating will doom us to extinction." Mmm...does Tony know. Ken?



This kind of folly is Red Ken's forte - but since Labour put winning elections above anything, anything is what they will support. This is a classic example of Blair's grotesque opportunism - after all who was who warned the nation that a Livingstone victory as Mayor would be a "disaster"? Step forward honest Tony. And who now wants Red Ken back, erm...step forward, honest Tony. Do as I do, not as i say writ large!!



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FOX ON THE RUN



It's hard to imagine that a fair and balanced News channel could exist - but in the USA, Fox News has been a huge success by providing balanced information as an alternative to the sickening leftist bias that permeates everything in Europe. The common sense of having such a channel is evidenced in the lastest figures which show more and more Americans tuning in to Fox.



Wouldn't it be great, and good for competition, if there was a centrist channel like Fox in the UK? Imagine instead of having to watch hours of Blair PR dresssed up as news we could actually watch impartial news? In the UK, the media operates as a fifth column for Leftism...hence the Tories central problem of getting their message out through such a twisted prism.

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JOBS FOR THE BOYS



The self-importance of our political class and their delusions of grandeur is vividly demonstrated in the news that TBF Thompson Engineering factory in Garvagh, County Londonderry, is to close with the loss of 36 jobs. The "solution" lies in...restoring the Assembly!



SDLP John Dallat and UUP Norman Hillis have figured out that only "our" late lunlamented Assembly can restore the fortunes of trailer manufacturing. Quite how, well, we're not sure....perhaps MLA's are so used to hitching their comments to any potentially vote-raising issue that they figure they can now use a trailer?



Of course the reality is that the Assembly would be utterly impotent in matters of economic decision. Instead of doing anything constructive it would merely hot-air the issue, suggest a "task-force" and generally provide fatcat politicos with the chance to waffle. Not much use to TBF or the workers affected!

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>> 5 Jan 2004

Don't shoot me - I'm a writer!



The news that former Kinks front-man Ray Davies has been shot in the knee in New Orleans (very painful) should really make the 60's generation of rock-star panic.



First John Lennon, then Marvin Gaye, now Ray Davies. When will this madness stop? Could this shocking incident have been prompted by someone having listened to endless plays of "Lola"?

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NEW ROLE FOR DE CHASTELELAIN?



Ace Canadian General, and decommissioning Czar, General De Chastelain has allegedly been contacted by NASA with regard to the lastest 3d photos from the Mars Rover buggy. I hear that the General's proven ability to work in a void, his unique facility for not tripping over unseen bunkers, and above all his discretion, make him the perfect candidate to be the first man on Mars.

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MY EVER CHANGING MOODS.



Well, after informing that world of his "optimism" that devolution could be restored a few days ago, Irish PM Bertie Ahern has executed a somersault and now informs us that he has great trepidation for what may happen this year! Come on Bertie - which is it? Can't you make up your mind?



Apart from this indecision from our Bertie, there was an interesting insight when he claims that "If you were to have that kind of frustrated period and rejectionist period that I hope we do not see, then the future would be bleak and you would inevitably get back into some kind of conflict." Mmm..does that sound like a veiled threat to you? Some might think so



Is Bertie now doing Sinn Fein's dirty work for it? Does the Irish PM lack the courage to tell Sinn Fein/IRA that it must disarm or else he will disarm it? If so, might this mean that the Irish Government is little more than a squalid facilitator for the IRA? And if so, maybe someone should tell President Bush that smiling Bertie is little more than the warm up man for P.O'Neil and his goonsquad.

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Minister for National Suicide.



The death-wish that the liberal-left has in Israel is once more apparent in the comments by Justice Minister Tommy Lapid.



It appears that it is better to let Palestinian terrorists slaughter innocent Israelis than run the risk of incurring the wrath of "international opinion" (The sort that loves Saddam and hates the USA) by completing the building of the security fence.



Israel has every right - and Arial Sharon has a solemn duty - to protect its citizens from Arafats terror onslaught. It is therefore bizarre for a member of the Government to actually seek a policy change that can have but one certain outcome - the death of more Israelis. Perhaps Mr. Lapid should change his title to Minister for National Suicide?

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BYE BYE DT



In a few hours time, the Ulster Unionist Party's greatest vote-catcher, Lagan Valley MP Jeffrey Donaldson, will announce that he is joining the DUP (Along with Arlene Foster and Norah Beare)



This removes any prospect of the UUP ever re-gaining prominance within Unionism, and is a cause for some celebration. Mr. Donaldson was loyal to the principles of the UUP- principles which the party has blatantly discarded during the Trimble tenure. I think few people who are aware of Jeffrey's regard for the UUP will doubt that this was a very tough decision. But it was the RIGHT decision.



The Vichy UUP deserve electoral humiliation and after today, they move one step closer to it.

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>> 4 Jan 2004

THE LOTUS EATERS



Interesting to read Henry McDonald spell out a few facts of life for those who have spend the Xmas period persuading themselves that the DUP must do a deal with Sinn Fein/IRA.



There is absolutely NO prospect of the DUP changing colours. Even if Dr. Paisley dropped dead tomorrow, there would be no change. Years of weenie-UUP equivocation have conditioned the talking heads to believe that when the DUP say No thet mean Yes. Time will recondition them to accept that No is No. No to terrorist proxies in power, No to a corrupt political Institution, No to all-Ireland bodies and No to abandoning every principle at the first sniff of power.

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LIFE AT THE BOTTOM



Anyone who needs reminding just how useless the Welfare State is could do worse than read Theodore Dalyrymple's excellent new book "Life at the Bottom." This British psychiatrist demonstrates that poverty is not caused by economics but by dysfunctional values. A thoughtful read.

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BAN THE UNION FLAG.



One more example of the gradual denuding of all things British is highlighted in the Sunday Telegraph today It's amazing to read that the British Army is not allowed to show any overt signs of being British in the god-forsaken IRA appeasing post-Belfast Agreement Northern Ireland. You couldn't make this stuff up and yet the silence that emanates from the UUP speaks volumes of its guilt in bringing about a political situation in which the British Army dare not look British. Pathetic beyond words!

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Ethnic Cleansing?



Sad to read that Newry is fast becoming a monoculture This is the sort of story that does not get sufficient media attention.



The disturbing question is WHY are so many Protestant families fleeing? WHAT is it about Newry that makes them want to get out? Might it be in any way connected to the rise of the Sinn Fein/IRA culture which swathes Newry in a blanket of green, white and yellow? Surely not? And we were told that the Belfast Agreement, which legitimised the IRA, was going to lead to an INCLUSIVE society!! The exodus of Protestant culture from Newry should concern everyone who values a pluralist tolerant society.

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IS THERE LIFE ON MARS?



Good to see that the USA has been able to send a spacecraft to Mars and then not lose it when it lands. Given the excess media hype over the British D-I-Y effort, the coverage of this US triumph has been strangely muted. Don't say that the little green eyed God that can't stand all things American even extends into space?

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BERTIES BOWLED OVER.





You have to hand it to Bertie Ahern. His optimism about the prospects for political progress based on the Belfast Agreement is a modern wonder. Based on the fact that Unionism opposes the Agreement, we can only wonder at Bertie's confidence. I wonder does he also believe in Little Green Apples and that it don't rain in Indiana in the summertime?

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>> 3 Jan 2004

The Counter Revolution



"Cheer up - the worst is yet to come." This may become the rallying cry at the next AGM of the UUP!



In a thought-provoking essay published in the Newsletter (3rd January 2004), Alex Kane details the problems which he believes besit the Ulster Unionist Party. Principally, these coalesce around the troubled "leadership" of David Trimble and his ability (or lack of it) to direct his Party.



Alex Kane is well positioned to understand - up close and personal - the problems that besiege Trimble, and in fairness tries to put forward radical recommendations as to where the Party should go to. He calls for a "cultural revolution" - and he is right - but NOT, I contend, for the reasons he suggests.



Lying at the heart of all this (to coin a phrase close to Trimble's heart) is "constructive ambiguity." Ever since the Agreement became holy writ, Trimble has danced around claiming that he NEVER agreed to the stream of paramilitary and IRA specific concessions that flowed from it. Over the years, this political dishonesty has become more obvious and resulted in the gradual slump in UUP fortunes. Put simply, only the devout within the UUP swallow their glorious Leaders illusions.



This became manifest in the Assembly Results last year. But what does it mean for the UUP?



It is apparent that those whom Trimble commands loyalty from no longer put the Union first. They have been spiritually gobbled up in the mesmeric but vacuous rhetoric of the "peace process" and should follow the logic of their position and stop calling themselves Unionists. I have met these people, on the doorstep, and heard them put fealty to Trimble first. In essence these people would endorse a United Ireland if that "smart" Mr. Trimble told them to do so. These are the Vichy set.



The idea that the UUP lost votes at the election because it had prominent anti-Agreement voices such as Jeffrey Donaldson may indeed be true. Perhaps more pro-Agreement candidates would have be granted more Republican preferences? Some of this, in key constituencies, could even be first preferences. Again, however this invalidates the notion of the UUP continuing to call itself "Unionist."



If the UUP was a business, to use the analogy of Jim Rodgers, the Board of Directors would be unemployed because it would have gone under for misrepresenting what it sells. Such criminal abandonment of principle is not seen as a problem by the Directors however - but the accompanying loss of financial income may cause some pain!



Unionism is anti-Agreement and is coalescing around the DUP position. There is no future for the UUP because it now values the Agreement more highly than the Union. Having been tested by its time as largest Party, it has failed. That is the reason why it should re-badge itself New Alliance and hope to God (or whichever secular force it recognises) that the mythical garden centre prods come out in their droves come the glorious day. Viva la revolution!

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ELEMENTARY...?



With the latest brutal murder of a 29 year old man taking place in Banbridge, the PSNI have been quick out of the blocks to assure us that it "was not sectarian nor linked to any paramilitaries."



This mantra is trotted out with such speed from our all-new all-politically correct PSNI that one wonders HOW they can come to such an immediate conclusion? Have they conducted all their investigations within the first few hours? Have they pursued every angle in this short time scale?



The suspicion remains that the PSNI, as a creature of the Belfast Agreement, puts out what are politically accommodating statements following heinous murders to ensure that the public don't get the idea that..gulp...the paramilitary killers are still out there doing what they do best.



Perhaps the PSNI should try and actually SOLVE crimes rather than spend our money and its time finding excuses to tell us who DIDN'T commit the crimes?

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>> 2 Jan 2004

Where to for Unionism?





As we look out across 2004, it seems that Unionism is more bitterly divided than ever before. With devolution suspended, the New Year provides us with an opportunity to assess where Unionism is going.



The Assembly Election results showed that the ANTI-AGREEMENT position carries overwhelming support within the pro-Union community. The Anti-Agreement DUP's victory over the pro-Agreement UUP was a defining moment - and Jeffrey Donaldson's subsequent resignation from the UUP demonstrates that the centrifugal force of anti-Agreement Unionism is proving irresistible. Donaldson tried his best to move the UUP to a morally responsible and electorally acceptable position. The common sense of this was seen in his own performance in Lagan Valley when he cornered 10% of the total UUP first preference votes.



However, in the strange world of pro-Agreement Unionism, Jeffrey had no future. This is the world assidously propped up by Government and the media - the world in which Trimble is a political giant, the world in which Trimble alone offers hope. Hope to Sinn Fein/ IRA, hope to the Irish Government, hope to the UVF/PUP. The New Year has seen the prophets of PRO-Agreement Unionism declare that the Party has to become even MORE pro-Agreement if it is to survive. In a way, they are right.



Since the UUP is no longer a Party of the Union, but rather the biggest danger to it - the quicker it follows policies that will isolate more unionist voters the better. Thus the wisdom of Roy Garland for instance, should be followed.



Only when the UUP is smashed beyond recognition, will Unionism prosper. The Euro election later this year should help in driving one more stake into the UUP. Jim Nicholson, it is said, has become more and more concerned that he may not retain his seat. Would a Paisley/Donaldson ticket trump the Nicholson/Trimble ticket? Some think it will.



For some time now I have argued that the UUP is mutating into something that is NOT Unionist. The logic of what Garland and others are advocating - and no doubt with the tacit approval of Trimble, Nesbitt et al, is that the NEW UUP will really be the NEW Alliance Party. Another puppet party, without principles, and dancing to its masters tune.



Unionism can only exist in the anti-Agreement form. That is why the DUP will grow bigger and stronger - and why Government, Republicans and even the media will eventually have to waken up to the new reality.



The UUP is dead - long live the DUP!





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TORIES SOUND PROMISING.



Michael Howard's list of beliefs for his Party is excellent. Many of the beliefs quoted below will cause the leftist media to go into overdrive to try and discredit common sense such as:



I believe red tape, bureaucracy, regulations, inspectorates, commissions, quangos, 'czars', 'units' and 'targets' came to help and protect us, but now we need protection from them. Armies of interferers don't contribute to human happiness.



I do not believe that one person's poverty is caused by another's wealth



I believe that Britain should defend her freedom at any time, against all comers, however mighty



I suppose with regard to the last belief that must include the BBC.

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The terrorists New Year Messages



Perhaps one of the most depraved features of post-GFA life in Northern Ireland is the manner in which the Media report what are termed "New Year Messages" from the IRA, UVF and LVF.



To comment on the toxic content of such paramilitary drivel is to confer legitimacy on the illegitimate. My concern is that by reporting these PR releases, and threats, as if they had ANY validity is to demean the democratic process.



Where did these press releases come from? Can the security forces not trace the point of origin - or might that be a tad embarrassing for Governments favoured outlaws?

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It's all a quagmire



Quite an amusing game to play on BBC Radio 4 is to listen to the Today programme and see how long it takes before some hand-wringing leftist apologist comes on and declares that the war on terror has become a quagmire. I reckon that one hour is enough for the favoured word of the liberal left to get a mention.



The notion that the war on terror has been an outstanding success is clearly outside the mindset of the Old Labour anti-American news editors as they while away thinking of new angles to prop up their own moral quagmire.

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>> 1 Jan 2004

2004 Hopes





My political hopes for 2004 are as follows:-



David Trimble to continue as Leader of the UUP. This should ensure the obliteration of Vichy Unionism at the Euro-poll and the subsequent General election.



Mark Durkan to find a career in comedy script-writing. His hilarious election campaign contained more one-liners than Only Fools and Horses. (Stop the DUP - a Durkan classic)



Ian Paisley to enjoy good health and to stand by espoused principles. With anti-Agreement Unionism now dominant, Paisleys unique skills are more needed than ever.



Gerry Adams and crew to understand that the day of terrorism has come and gone. There is no place for the IRA in 2004 - just as in the previous 33 years. Perhaps if Government stops pandering to these goons then progress could be made?



David Ervine - consolation in his new role as a one-man band.



Monica and Jane: Sadly, the Womans Coalition has disappeared. But perhaps, given the five year period when they arrogantly preened across out TV screens, the "Cheeky Girls" of the WC may find a new career?



The Alliance Party Endurance as they are gobbled up by the desperation of Trimbles Vichy UUP.



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